Life - or something like it

Remember the time when you were little and off you went to Nursery school. It was the time to learn about 'How twinkly the stars were' and about 'Mary's Little Lamb'. We learned them with such enthusiasm. Never a doubt or a quandary about them. Our generation of kids never asked questions about these Nursery Rhymes. No doubts at all. If the teacher said 'Mary had a little Lamb' then she had one. I had never seen an actual Lamb in my life till I came to UK. My sudden interest in Nursery rhymes and the reason to blog came after I received a mail from my sister. She is the one with twins aged 3.5years. I receive regular updates from her about their antics. The recent one was quite thought provoking. It was a nursery rhyme singing session. And this is how it went. Sis: Jack and Jill went up the Hill. A(Boy): Why? Sis: To fetch a pail of water. B (Girl): Why Mama? They don't have water in the house? what's a pail? Sis: Um, this is a song. Lets

Most of us are scared to use this word thinking it to be bad. It has been instilled in us since childhood, Saying 'NO' is considered to be wrong. When did we forget the art of saying 'No'? I am sure most of us at the age of two were quite capable of doing so, did we forget it as we grew older? We have been taught to be people pleaser's, whether we like it or not, we want to avoid the anxiety the word 'NO' will cause and hence we land up with too much on our plate. Self Help Gurus might call this low self esteem or a sign of weakness but I believe it is inherent nature in us to be agreeable and try to fit in. How many times have you been asked for a favour by a friend or relative and you wanted to refuse but you did not? 1) Friends expecting you to always be there for them. 2) Relatives making excessive demand of your time. 3) Your boss wants you to handle additional work because your colleague is off on a holiday and you are already working late

Friends, today I would like to pay my respects to those brave souls who faced the brutal regime of Nazis in their concentration camps. Today, 27th January - Holocaust Memorial Day. – marks the 65th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau. On this day, the Holocaust Memorial Day Trust is challenging everyone across the UK to become part of a Legacy of Hope. Holocaust Memorial Day 2010: The Legacy of Hope On Holocaust Memorial Day 2010 – 27th January – we are asking everyone across the UK to pause for a few moments. Pause to remember the victims of Nazi persecution and those who were murdered under exclusionary policies in Cambodia, Bosnia, Rwanda and Darfur. Pause to honour the survivors of those genocides. Most importantly, we are asking you all to become part of The Legacy of Hope. We’re asking everyone to grasp the opportunity to listen to the voices of all who suffered in the Holocaust and under Nazi persecution, and to make the hopes of the survivors part of our shared,

Well, Hello! Welcome to the New Year. I am sure you all had a great time on New Year’s Eve. I certainly did. There must be burst of New Year resolutions, new do's and don'ts and that entire hullabaloo. Resolutions are made to be broken, so I never waste my energy on them. Pleasantries over, now let's move on... One of my hobbies is reading. Even though I have kept it as a safely guarded secret on the blog, I read every day before I fall asleep. I started by reading ‘Enid Blyton’ when I was in school, a personal favourite even now. Progressed to ‘Sidney Sheldon’ and got most of the info about 'Birds and Bees' from his books. During my Sidney Sheldon phase, many of the girls my age were devouring 'Mills and Boons' with voracious appetites. I read a couple of them and vowed never to touch them again. 'John Grisham' is a wonderful author. His books are a window into the world of American law and class action lawsuits. I have read and re-read his books an

There is a big uproar in the online media about Haagen Dazs brand of Ice cream committing a terrible Faux- Pas during the launch of their outlet in Delhi. They have stated it as a teaser campaign. Have a look at this picture and things will be clear why Indians have their panties in knots. It's a franchisee owned by an Indian Company and it's opening an outlet in India. It means they want to sell the product to Indians, Right??? The 'Access restricted only to holders of International Passports' part kuch jama nahi. I really wonder about the advertising agency that made this poster and the people in marketing department of Haagen Daz, who approved this poster. This is a blatant insult and racial discrimination done by Indians to Indians. As if, we already do not face that in other countries. We now say that 'India is a happening Place' then why do we feel like a second grade citizen in our own country. Does it mean that a person with a International Passport is s

I got this video clip from 'Zeeshan' who wanted to motivate me . I dedicate this clip to all my friends and people who are fighting to survive in today's times. For some its an everyday fight to just survive. I am sure most of us will remember this time in future and take it as a test of determination and patience and above all HOPE. Let not Hope be lost. As Winston Churchill said : The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

In spite of the title sounding so ominous most of you must have guessed. I am talking about marriage and that too specifically arranged marriages. Recently, a few of my friends have decided to venture on this well trodden path and the experiences that they shared with me prompted me into putting this post. Even though the trend is more towards love marriages now a days, there are many who go by the age old routine of getting hooked the traditional way. Parents of the prospective brides and grooms have become quite lenient with the 'Ladki/Ladka dekhna routine'. Gone are the days when, if the grooms family come to meet the family of prospective bride, the bride is not inspected as a piece of furniture or like a cattle whose qualities and virtues have to be spelled out in bold. Now, the girl and the boy are both given an opportunity to chat, go out and talk to each other at length to find out if their attitudes match and whether they like each other or not. Since the advent of In

Off late I have been a bit stressed out and some pent up feelings of frustration have been coming out in a bad way.In my daily dose of girl talk with my dear friend shipra I poured it all out.She like a good friend sent me this chapter from one of Stephen Covey's Books which helped me think straight so I felt I should put it on my blog. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? ……….By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. L

Are marriages really made in Heaven??? If they are ,then god sure does have a wacky sense of humor.I have seen both arranged marriages and love marriages falling apart. The discussion about if love marriages are better than arranged and vice versa has been discussed enough number of times....lets move on to something else. Harriet and I were talking about a common friend (an Indian) who will only marry the girl his parents choose for him. It is quite normal for me to hear this but it was quite shocking for Harriet who is a Swede. Her question was "how can he marry someone without knowing her and if he does not love her?", "How can you marry someone you are not passionate about?". Upon hearing the word "passion" I had flashing images of Bollywood and Hollywood flicks.... Hindi Movie Scene- Unmarried Hero and heroine just manage one kiss in the entire 3 hrs and sometimes passionate scenes are shown... Married Hero and Heroine (Poor things) dont even get a ki

In the Lancaster University campus I've made a lot of new friends...some from countries I had never thought I would...mainly Pakistan. Since we share a turbulent past and a chaotic present .It was tough at first not to be judgmental towards them. As we got to know them better my prejudice waned... We travel together, have dinners at each others place...discuss a lot of various topics..but completely avoid controversial subjects like the Kashmir issue.. One of the topic was about Hindu Religion. The only traditions of Hindu culture which they knew, was after seeing innumerable Hindi Movies and "Saas Bahu" serials. I never knew it will become so difficult to answer the question "Who is a Hindu?" and "What is exactly Hinduism?". My husband and I both tried to explain them the concept, which I am sure was hazy at the most.Hindu Culture is so vast and old...how to encompass so many traditions in a single line... Finally I decided to research a bit and came

In my search for the perfect body lotion I came across shelf upon shelf of body lotions which maintain your perfect tan and tanning lotions which help you tan.Well again at the cost of repeating myself I will say "Summers here" in UK. The campus is converted into a beach where semi naked bodies are lying down in the sun .Its like the entire University is in a picnic mood. Well back home in "good ole India" we run for cover from the blazing sun not to get tanned. All the beauty regimes definitely include how to get rid of that ugly tan . Where as the Sun heats up, we can see our feet bearing the design of our footwear . Its kind of ironic to see the fair skinned "Firangs" wanting our skin shade "BROWN" (as Russel Peters likes to call) and us trying desperate measures to look fairer. How could I miss talking about the beauty cream "Fair and lovely" . I personally feel that the product should be banned from the market. It actually promote

I was recently watching a video, shot by my brother-in law, when he was visiting the "Kanha National Park "in India. It was of a magnificent tiger who just walked past their open jeep in all its glory. This suddenly brought back the memories of my school days, when I had snagged a book from my fathers collection called as "Man-eaters of Kumaon" by Jim Corbett. The book was about Corbett's experiences with man eating tigers in the Kumaon region of India and how he saved the lives of many people by killing the tigers. Jim Corbett is still famous for being a naturalist and conservationist and a National park has been named in his honor. The book fueled in me the desire to see a tiger at close range.Though I had seen quite a few at the circus and zoo , watching it at close range was a different experience all together. There is nothing comparable to seeing a wild animal in its natural habitat. Many of us are still oblivious of the fact as to how closely our ex

It is my Sunday ritual to call up my parents back home in India. I can clearly hear the joy in their voice and know how eagerly they are waiting for my call. Its been nearly a decade since my parents have been staying alone, since all three of us (my 2 sisters and me) have been married and moved away from our hometown. In the beginning it was for studies and then better job prospects that we had to leave our Family home. There is a whole new breed of such parents in today's India. They are living on their own and their children have either settled abroad or are working in another city. After the advent of globalisation as new and better opportunities both in terms of education and work came forth , the already nuclear family broke into even smaller parts , with the parents left alone and the children moving out. Most of the times it is the parents who encourage the children to take benefit of the opportunities at hand. At that time usually, parents are still working and have a bu

In my everyday chat converstions with my friend "Shipra" we came to a topic of dicussion on the movie "Matrubhoomi". I saw the movie last year and it still sends shivers down my spine whenever I remember the story. The movie revolves around a time when female foeticide has skewed the male female ratio so much that the heroine of the movie "Kalki" is married off to 5 brothers. The whole setting is of some village in Bihar. The movies leaves you with visions of barbaric men and scenes of violence. The theme of the movie "skewed gender ratio if we keep on killing the girl child" was good. The way it is put across by the director leaves you with a bad taste. The fate of the girl child today in India is as dismal as it was 2 decades back. Inspite of laws banning sex detemination of an unborn child, the killing of female foetuses is still common in some parts of India. The country which worships godesses like "Laxmi" and "Durga" w

The custom of Live-in relationship is very old in India, wherein zamindars and Nawabs not only had many wives but quite a few live in-women. In those times it was not considered immoral to have a live-in relationship. Post Independance, monogamous marriages became the in-thing. India still remains a conservative society where the institution of marriage is considered sacred. Plus chastity on the part of a woman is highly rated. The woman with a history of pre marital relations with a man will have less chances of getting married in the future. A decade back when I was studying in Pune....the concept of live-in relationships had just started emerging. Many of my classmates were in one and few of those relationships eventually culminated into marriage. There are conflicting views on this subject. Just today I was having a chat with "Shipra" a friend of mine who had no qualms about being in one. Her only condition was that both the partners should be unmarried and should be equ

Are we the same Country that gave " Kamasutra " to the world? Hard to believe but its an alarming fact. We are the same country that dishes out titillating Movies and Pop songs which scream of Sex,but are too shy to talk about it to our younger generation.Our media is flooded with images which definitely give rise to curious questions.Are we not being hypocrites . What signal are we sending to the younger generation? In spite of the rise in the number of abortions in adolescents .And reports about pre- marital sex happening ,we still turn a blind eye towards it.All under the guise of the so called "Indian Culture". We have to keep in mind that ignorance and sex is a potent combination.By avoiding to talk about it we are in fact leaving them no option but to discover it by way of experimentation. It still such a taboo to talk about the subject that many a time parents are shocked to know that their own kid, whom they thought is still too young has already star

I have had my share of Indian Bosses when I was working back home in India. They come in various shapes and sizes....and Mentalities. Since I was always moving from one city to another,owing to my husbands job.I had the opportunity of working for varied organisations with dramatically different work cultures. I have had bosses with whom I have shared a very good Rapport and then what can we say about those who haunt your nightmares and you wish you'd rather make his "Voodoo doll" and stick pins in it than bear working with him. Well this post is not about badmouthing bosses.Since we spend most of our waking hours working...its an attempt to understand this species "The Indian Boss". Some of them could give Hitler a Run for his money...with their rules and and wacko way of working.Quite a few of them do try to be really fair and some set such good examples that you just cannot forget them for their decency,fairness and leadership. When I was working for a re