Marriages are made in Heaven

Are marriages really made in Heaven???

If they are ,then god sure does have a wacky sense of humor.I have seen both arranged marriages and love marriages falling apart. The discussion about if love marriages are better than arranged and vice versa has been discussed enough number of times....lets move on to something else.

Harriet and I were talking about a common friend (an Indian) who will only marry the girl his parents choose for him. It is quite normal for me to hear this but it was quite shocking for Harriet who is a Swede. Her question was "how can he marry someone without knowing her and if he does not love her?", "How can you marry someone you are not passionate about?".

Upon hearing the word "passion" I had flashing images of Bollywood and Hollywood flicks....

Hindi Movie Scene-

Unmarried Hero and heroine just manage one kiss in the entire 3 hrs and sometimes passionate scenes are shown...
Married Hero and Heroine (Poor things) dont even get a kissing scene...

Picture this...

Heroine gets up in the morning takes a bath and gets Bed Chai for her Hubby- Mr. Hero.He will try to pull her in bed with him....she will giggle and say " Chhodo na Koi Dekh Lega"....

Now moving to a English Movie

Hero Heroine kissing is no big deal....passion is quite high....and is mostly shown quite elaborately.
Married Hero & Heroine....I guess they fare better than their Indian Counterparts...they do get to kiss each other...Apart from the movie "Ghost" I do not recall any elaborate passionate scenes between onscreen Married couples.

Coming back to what Harriet said, Passion does play a major part in the western society..but for us...a lifepartner is someone who will understand and walk along with you on the path called Life...

Passion is there but is mostly underplayed...
How long does the passion last...does it mean that once you are no longer passionate about someone you need to move on?? Find someone else you are passionate about...?
What about Love? Love and Passion are not the same thing.
There could be love without the passion. I asked her all these questions...

In India when you marry someone we try to make the relationship last as long as we can...
even if there is no passion...there is friendship and love. And that is what one needs when they turn 70 and have a friend to walk beside them...who understands them.

I feel passion is highly overrated. I do not say that passion is useless. Its important but not so much....its mostly what people imagine will be like as manufactured by Hollywood and Bollywood Flicks.

In Harriet's society the entire cultural setting makes them choose passion as a winning factor whereas my culture lays more stress on having a lasting relationship....the mantra being "till death do us apart".


  1. Hey Vinni I totally agree with you on this for us itz more of friendship and love. Passion is there but itz nt jus passion..I guess if any relationship is there only coz of passion den itz more of the physical attraction...Passion wat i understand in your write up is physical attraction.....

  2. we make our own marriages as being in Heaven..

    We make our own life as heaven..

    by our actions.. thoughts.. reactions.. relationship.. adoptions.. helping.. faith.. etc etc..


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