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Showing posts with the label Nerdy Talk

Stop treating job seekers like beggars

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Let me tell you companies don't know s*** about hiring. They don't know how to treat job seekers as human beings, let alone with respect. The entire process is so screwed up and skewed in favor of companies that a job seeker has no bargaining position. It is time that companies stopped treating job seekers like beggars. Right from applying for a job, filling out mind-numbing applications on their websites (which can never represent who you truly are), to giving out personal information, past earnings, and gaps in jobs. Everything is designed to keep control in the hands of a company. So here are some real situations I faced in the recent past when trying to look for a job. All these interviews are at so-called "professional companies" and have pretty websites and great LinkedIn pages describing their successes and how good they are at helping their customers. Interview 1 I get called for an interview with a leading IT company. I used my networking skil

The Midlife Crisis

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I heard this word midlife crisis in my early thirties and thought of it with just mild interest. It sounded more like a phase where people turned a bit nutty. Rumour had it that it affected men more than women and made them leave families and chase women younger than them. I was flummoxed by it in the beginning but later forgot about it till the time it hit me squarely in my face. The unraveling of my life was not quick nor painstakingly slow. It was at a medium pace in the beginning and then the pace took my breath away. I had officially become a victim of the midlife crisis. I saw friends around me disgruntled by the way their life had turned out. It was as if suddenly everyone around me was just unhappy, crabby and feeling bitter. My own midlife crisis was like peeling away old skin and donning a garb that was so much more comfortable. This process of catharsis was none too easy and involved embracing thoughts and processes that I would have never dreamt of in my twenties an

31 Things you need to know when you are going through a divorce

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Recently, someone asked me, whether my life has gone the way I had planned it. I was at a loss for words. Hell of an irony, right? Considering as a writer, words are my bread and butter.  That got me to thinking about my life, and especially the past few years, where I was able to amass a lifetime of lessons that I had not learned in the previous 40 years of my life. Life has definitely not gone the way, I had planned it that much is true. As a young girl, my head was full of dreams of a house, with a white picket fence, kids running around, and a loving partner (you get the picture, I hope). These dreams were mostly fuelled by the numerous books and movies, I had read and seen. Of a rosy life, where things are just as they should be. Even after a painful breakup with my first boyfriend in college, I still carried those dreams in my head. Call me naive, call me dumb..but that was who I was.  A few years later, I got married to someone I loved and thought finally those things wi

Life's Lessons

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I have been missing from this space for nearly a year and a half, but hey! what to do, I was out living my life and learning valuable lessons along the way. I thought to share my life's lessons in a series of posts. Here's a list of 22 lessons that I've learnt in my journey from being a married woman to divorced woman, then single and now in a relationship person. Hope these help you look at life differently just as I have been able to. Don't judge yourself by what you see in the mirror. A mirror is just glass and you are so much more than that.  Life's lesson 24 Offer what you can. Show up for people and support them. Love people when they need it, unconditionally and unselfishly. Even when you think you can't, be kind. Show up for people. Because you would want someone one to show up for you when you are hurting. Life's Lesson 23 When you love someone for exactly who they are You will find out how quickly they transform and becom

Nothing Lasts Forever

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I know, I am posting on my blog infrequently these days and my blog readership has plummeted to an all time low. In the past, this would have affected me, but now, I write only when I feel I have something concrete to say or share. I now write to feel fulfilled and express myself and not to increase readership. This perceptible shift in focus has given me the flexibility to write what I want and when I want it. The year is already half over and though not much has changed outwardly in my life, a major change has happened under the surface. I have written about the changes happening in my life, in my previous posts. Today, as I look at the year that has gone by, I realize that I have grown as a person in leaps and bounds, having learnt from some of the toughest challenges life has thrown at me. The past month has been especially rewarding since I have now understood the actual meaning of "letting go". In the truest sense, I have let go. I have gone past the hurt, disappoin

Waiting to Exhale

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These days, my posts are all about the past and looking back, like my last post, Is goodbye just another word?  The past few years have been one of change. Good or bad? I don't know that, only time will tell, but yes, things have changed, and my world has altered beyond recognition. The change has happened at break-neck speed and it has left me running hard, literally and figuratively, trying to keep up with the change. This change threw up surprises and challenges  my way and made me a different person. Now, I welcome new experiences with open arms, as it gives me the opportunity to rediscover myself and my own strengths and vulnerabilities. I am learning to own every moment of this new adventure and experiencing the highs and lows of this new journey. After an extremely stressful one year, on the personal front, I delved into a 3-day break with close friends and escaped to a place called Tarkarli. A place where the ocean and river unite, where the choppy blue waters are tee

Top 10 tips to become a Successful Freelance Writer

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I often get queries from people asking me advice on how to became a freelance writer. I feel it is quite flattering but at the same time becomes difficult to explain each time. To make it easier on everyone, I figured it made sense to write about the top 10 tips to become a successful freelance writer and next time someone asks me, I can just pass them this link. These days content writing has become one of the most common freelance activity one can do, sitting in the comfort of their homes. This does not mean anyone and everyone can become a successful freelance writer. Though it sounds easy, you need to possess a certain skill set to be successful, just like you need for any other job. Image courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net Here are the tips for you: 1) Love for writing: You need to love writing and have a flair for it. If you eat, sleep and dream writing, then this job is perfect for you. Not only will you need that passion but also the creativity to write on a var

Are women their own worst enemies?

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‘Unch Maza Zoka’ loosely translated as ‘My swing will touch the sky’ is a Marathi television series based on the life of ‘ Ramabai Ranade’ . The series deals with her life and that of her husband 'Justice Madhav Govind Ranade’ who was a reformer and the founding member of Indian National Congress. Ramabai was married at the age of eleven to Madhav Ranade who was 32 and had lost his first wife to illness. Ramabai was illiterate when she married Justice Ranade who helped her to learn how to read and write. In spite of their age difference, there was a camaraderie between them and Ramabai was thoroughly inspired by Justice Ranade. He was highly educated and strived his whole life to remove the social evils that existed in the society. He was against untouchability, the practice of sati and child marriage and sponsored the first widow marriage. He was a strong advocate of women’s right to education. Ramabai herself is  shown to be very enthusiastic and dedicated to learning. The

Are you listening?

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These past few years have changed me as a person. I was someone, who could talk a lot and have a conversation with anyone, on any topic. But now, I am unsure about making conversations and try to listen more rather than speak. In this entire process of learning to listen more and speak less, I came across a lot of specimens who had some distinct qualities that could be neatly categorised into sections. I too have been a part of some categories at one point of time and so can easily identify the symptoms that plague them. They  all practice the art of listening at different levels. You too can easily identify them, they are all around us. 1) The Motor Mouth : This class of people can be identified by the endless talk coming out of their mouth. They have a perpetual verbal diarrhoea and cannot keep from talking on all topics right from their cat to their cousin’s aunt’s nephew’s neighbour. They don’t even take a pause to breathe and can comfortably keep talking for hours at end. The

Well, I'll be damned, finally, I am a published writer

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I know, I know that I have been a bad girl and have completely disappeared from the blogging scene since past two months. Please forgive me for doing this disappearing act. Life dropped me smack on my bottom and I was busy trying to drag my ass towards normalcy. Your good wishes for a safe trip home really did wonders and I am loving it a lot in 'India'. Only thorn on my side is the weather in Nagpur which is merciless. I came back when the temperature was in the upper thirty in degree Celsius which was nearly 25 degrees above what I have been used to, for the past three years. You can very well imagine me slowly getting baked. Moving here from UK has been quite stressful with packing being the major pain in the ‘you know where’. Giving away all the stuff I had collected was the most difficult part. Each time I move I feel I leave behind a part of myself hidden in some corner of every house I ever lived. It is becoming difficult to let go of things, places, people and emo