Waiting to Exhale

These days, my posts are all about the past and looking back, like my last post, Is goodbye just another word? The past few years have been one of change. Good or bad? I don't know that, only time will tell, but yes, things have changed, and my world has altered beyond recognition. The change has happened at break-neck speed and it has left me running hard, literally and figuratively, trying to keep up with the change.

This change threw up surprises and challenges  my way and made me a different person. Now, I welcome new experiences with open arms, as it gives me the opportunity to rediscover myself and my own strengths and vulnerabilities. I am learning to own every moment of this new adventure and experiencing the highs and lows of this new journey.

After an extremely stressful one year, on the personal front, I delved into a 3-day break with close friends and escaped to a place called Tarkarli. A place where the ocean and river unite, where the choppy blue waters are teeming with corals, fish and dolphins and where I could find a piece of myself that I had lost.

Now, I find it ironical, when I hear the words "art imitates life", cause for me, the reverse has come true. The experience of diving in the ocean, and going down 30 feet to touch the corals and fish was a divine and spiritual experience. The complete silence, the serene waters and the feeling of being alive were so intense that it took my breath away. For me, it was a moving experience, which reiterated the fact that life is short, you have to make it count. The thousand tonnes of water pressing down, the vastness of the sea and not knowing how to swim did not scare me. I just knew I had to do it, it was as if an unseen force was pushing me to test myself and have this life changing experience. I now understand what Hrithik Roshan experienced in the movie "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" after he experiences diving in the ocean.

The thrill of water sports such as snorkeling and parasailing were an added bonus, to let go and learn to be 'in the moment'. Flying high on the ocean, tied to a speedboat was adrenaline pumping. The holiday made me realise that I was waiting to exhale, exhale out the disappointments, the unfairness of life and the helplessness that I had felt for the past few years. These three days gave me a chance to know myself again and what I can overcome. I learnt that  "Life always offers you a second chance and that is called Tomorrow".

Pighlay neelam sa behta hua yeh samaan
Neeli neeli si khamoshiyaan
Na kahin hai zameen
Na kahin aasmaan
Sarsaraati huyi tehniyaan, pattiyaan
Keh rahi hain ki bas ek tum ho yahaan
Sirf main hoon meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein
Aisi gehraiyaan
Aisi tanhaiyaan
Aur main sirf main
Apne honay pe mujhko yaqeen aa gaya
The moment flows by like molten sapphire
Deep Blue silences
No Earth below
No Sky above
The rustling branches and leaves
Saying that only you are here
Only me
My breath
My heartbeat
Such Depth like this
Such Loneliness like this
And me only me
I now believe, I exist
(Translation courtesy: bollyspice.com)


  1. Loved the entire adventure narrated by you. I am a bit scared of snorkeling but perhaps will give it a try the next time I get an opportunity. Really happy for you, Vinita.

  2. Hey I learned my lesson the hard way too. Took me nearly 2 decades to find my tomorrow. You go girl. You are an inspiration to a lot. Sorry I don't know that. To me for sure. Love your spirit. I live with this motto now. Expect nothing, accept everything. Life is easy and beautiful. Love to you.

  3. I actually thought about Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara while reading your piece! Glad you found a lot of calm and peace, as well as excitement during your trip!

  4. Go for it racing.. Snorkeling is a piece of cake.. Nothing to fear. Thanks sweetie

  5. Love to you my friend.. Thanks.. Friends like you keep me going..

  6. Thanks roshni.. Yes I did... It was a good mix of fun and calm..

  7. I have not done snorkling but have done para sailing and other water sports and as you said it is a thrill for sure ..

    you had some good time then safe to say :)

    how are you doing LP :)


  8. Hey bikram,
    Snorkeling is easy.. Go for it.
    Yes these sports are thrilling for sure. I am doing fine dude. Hope you are well.


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