I looked across the sea of heads as the priest performed the last rites.The scene was sombre, It seemed to me that the entire town was at the graveyard to pay their last respects. I saw my parents dressed in black and looking sad as the rain poured down in sheets.

I had come to find out if he was really dead, to see his body and to make sure that he was buried. I prayed that the nightmares would go away. I had wrestled with them for many months and I wanted them to end. I wanted to feel whole again. I wanted to be my old self, a carefree school student who was worried about just the grades and dating. 

I remember the day it all started. My family was devout Catholic and the church was an important part of out daily life. Father Gregory, the priest of our parish church was a guest at our house many times. He was almost like a part of our family. I had been baptised by him and was also a choir boy at the church. He had been the priest for many years and many families in our neighbourhood including mine, went to him for guidance.

It was Sunday and after the mass, Father Gregory asked me to come in his office. He said he wanted to talk to me. As I went in his office he asked me to shut the door and lock it. He invited me to sit in the chair opposite his desk. He enquired about my school and choir practice. Then he got up and came behind my chair and started rubbing my shoulders. He said "Peter, you are a very gifted singer, I think you are a very special boy". As his hands moved to my chest, I started squirming in my seat. He said "Don't worry son, this is us just being friends, this is all right". 

After some time he said I could go and I left feeling as if I had done something wrong. I could not understand if what had happened was wrong and if I should speak to someone about it. I was ashamed of myself. I knew no one would believe me so I decided to keep quiet. This started happening every week and it made me feel confused. I was scared to share this with anyone. He came to our house regularly and behaved very normally with me in front of everyone. He was the same loving man of god as before.

One day, Father Gregory called me to his house and said he wanted to talk about some bible classes. I was filled with  fear but I could not refuse or my parents would have been angry. I went to his house, he offered me some freshly baked biscuits and hot cocoa. While I was sipping hot cocoa he excused himself and went upstairs. He called out and said "Peter could you come up for a moment". As I hesitantly went upstairs I saw him undressing. He caught me by my hand just as I was ready to run down the stairs. He ran his fingers through my hair and asked me to lay on the bed. After that I was in complete shock and I blanked out. I only remember running out of the house sobbing and with blood on my hands. I was scared and feeling dirty about myself.

I ran to the stream near my house to wash away the blood from my hands. I sat down on a stone and sobbed till I had no more tears left. Suddenly I noticed that it was getting dark and  I had no option but to go home. I washed my face and headed towards home. I reached home and saw my father hurriedly entering the house with my mother standing in the doorway with a grim face. She told me Father Gregory had just died in the hospital. He was stabbed nineteen times and it was suspected that it was a case of robbery gone bad. A parishioner had gone to his house when Father Gregory had failed to appear for evening mass and had found him in a pool of blood. They had rushed him to the hospital but he died on the way.

I could not breathe after I heard this. I went to the bathroom and scrubbed my hands till they were raw. I looked at myself in the mirror as I tried to recall what had happened. I could not remember anything not even stabbing him. 

I will never be the same boy ever again.

P.S: This is a work of fiction. I wrote this story after I saw a documentary 'Sex crimes and the Vatican' by BBC. A horrific account of many victims of child molestation at the hands of Catholic priests. The Catholic church is reeling under the onslaught of such scandals. You  can read more about it here. This is not an attempt to malign any religion or faith. Please read this as a fictional piece.


  1. This is so horrible.
    Why do the preachers of God do like this.

  2. Excellent piece.I see a remarkable change in your narration capabilities.Handling a complex topic without overdoing emotion and yet the impact was equally good.

    It is absolutely horrific such crimes happen in places where people are the most vulnerable.

  3. sad but true, this kind of behavior is not restricted to Catholics, it is heard of in Madrasas and gurukuls as well........

  4. This is very sad and scary! God is always looking. Maybe, the stabbing was a punishment that the Priest deserved. Glad this is just a fictional piece.

  5. Hm. . Had a hint bout the theme of ur story in the 4th paragraph... Though a fiction, very relevant to current events. . Religion sometimes make people really weak n vulnerable and these Godmen just abuse their position. . Definitely it is not a problem of any particular religion. . Plenty of examples are scattered around. . .

  6. That was very scary and sad at the same time.

    I have read a lot of similar incidents in the recent past where people trusted to be the 'people of God' had commited heinous crimes on innocent young souls.

    Your wonderful narration gave this piece of fiction the feel of horror of reality.

  7. Well avenged...I wish you could have increased the stabbing count...more of it the better avenged.

  8. Oh geez, I thought it was a true story! Although fictional, this is reality for so many young kids in the hands of trusted priests. There have been numerous stories of abuses by church members throughout the U.S., I am just so disgusted but saddened at the same time.

  9. wow this is brilliant! you sure have put the message across so well in such hard hitting lines! wonderful!!!
    child abuse should be abused and abhorred

  10. According to Hindu Mythology, there are four stages in a man's life;
    1.Brahmachari (similar to a student)
    2.Grahastha (a household married guy)
    3.Vaanaprastha (a retired household guy)
    4.Sanyaasi (a priest or saint) leading to salvation

    It is said that a very few can attain the 4th stage w/o going thru the other 3 stages. Because, in the 4th stage u'll get everything u wanted in the 1st 3 stages like fame, money and people's love but Sanyasi is supposed to be detached. I guess people want all these and the Priesthood os attacked thru a devil called Greed.

  11. Reminds me of the movie Primal Fear...did you watch that? It's disgusting how the people that are trusted abuse that trust isn't it?

  12. captivating and biting. You have done a wonderful job with mixing fiction and reality.

    Well avenged all right

  13. Quite a morbid tale. Yet sadly linked to reality!!
    Child abuse is one of the most horrific things that can ever befall someone.
    And what makes things even more horrid, is when its inflicted by those whom you'd look upto in the first place!!

  14. I blogged about this too and I am glad to see justice (and freedom for many others) at least in this amazingly told story.

  15. Child abuse is so horrible. I wonder how people do it. And to think that men connected to religion are doing it is even more horrific. These kids bear the scars through out their lives.
    Beautiful narration. Really loved it.

  16. Very well narrated. These incidents about Priests have become common all over the world and need to be brought out in the open to stop them.

  17. nice post!! i was shocked when the abuse came out in the open stating in Boston.so many innocent lives damaged by these assholes:-(

  18. Very well written. Scary topic handled with delicacy.

  19. Man mn..you ar one gifted story teller..The ease with which u handled the complex topic is amazing and also that twist in the last is great...

    Gloomy topic bright narration LP

  20. You are probably very close to what goes on in the minds of the victims. There is nothing that would be enough to describe how disgusting this whole situation is.Very well written.

  21. I took it purely as fictional. Dont want to comment if it is really happening, good or bad.

    But nice story built up and climax... you can plan a sequel of the same! Take it further...May be the chilhood of peter or he becoming a bad guy...confession to police...n number of dimensions!

    Keep it up!

  22. Shilpa: I wish we knew the answer to that :(

    Gyan: Thank you for your appreciation...
    It is definitely gut wrenching to see this happening and the sad part is that the priests who did this were shuffled to different parishes instead of defrocking them...

    JOBO: Welcome to my blog...
    It is indeed true...devdasi concept in India is the same thing...

    Mr. Stupid: I agree...but that is not the result in every case unfortunately...some of these people go scot free...

    Savvy: Absolutely true...I wrote about catholics cause the cases of child abuse have come to light and media has given it a lot of coverage...

    CB: Thank you...it was a bit difficult to write this story as I could not give graphic details but yet had to make it sound gruesome and sick...

    Wanderer: hmmm yeah...but in reality..none of this happens...

    Rosebelle: I am glad I could make the story so real...I tried my best not to make it too cringeworthy...

    Magiceye: Thank you....

  23. It's sad what repressed sexuality can do to people. A movie on the same topic 'Primal Fear' is highly recommended.

  24. Aditya: Quite an analysis...and so true...but as they say a rotten apple spoils the whole barrel...action of few of these men is affecting the work done by genuinely good people..

    Tikuli: Thank you...I am glad you liked it..

    Vyazz: Unfortunately it is such men in power who misuse it for their own desires...

    IHM: Thank you for your appreciation...it means a lot..

    Aparna: Thank you...
    In the documentary...a priest is speaking in court in detail about how he did it...it was the most revolting thing I have ever heard :(

    Abha: Thank you...

    Sonali: I know :(

    Anju: Thanks sis...

    Nish: Thank you for liking my story...it was gut wrenching when I wrote it...

    LEB: I did put myself in the victims shoes when I wrote this story...it was quite difficult to even imagine..I wonder how real victims must be coping :(

    Karan: Hmmm...I might thing about taking it ahead...not sure as of now..

    Sam: Thanks dear...

  25. Pan: Yes I have seen that movie....it was spine chilling...thanks for visiting my blog...

  26. Chilling story!!! and a serious issue which is either not dicussed in open or is swept under the carpet!!!

    I must say Your stories are getting better n better my dear!!!

  27. A very moving post!!! Child abuse is one of the most gruesome thing to happen to our society. Its just heart wrenching to think of so many kids who undergo torture everyday. Kudos to your writing!!

  28. Though I don't think violence is the key, I like it that for once, the abused reacts. Good one!

  29. An eye opener,and we consider them descendants of god;hey linked you up,glad we are blogmates

  30. Smita: Thanks :) was a dificult subject to write about...

    Milana: Thank you Milana :)

    Chinkurli: I agree violence is not the answer but sometimes retribution is required.

    Raj: Thank you Raj :)

    WJ: Thanks :) I am glad too..

  31. heart wrenching to say the least!!!beautiful narration!

  32. Ok am way late with all the BPL works taxing me but better late than never isn't it ? :)

    First of all LP as gb mentioned you have improved leaps and bounds in your style of writing and handling a subject! As a regular reader, its a delight to be part of a writer's progress as an observer/reader :) Keep up the good works - words!

  33. MQ: Thank you for your kind words...

    LR: Wow...your comment made my day...
    Thank you for the support you have given me :)

  34. hai, this was real good, even if work of fiction, kind of really gives the satisfaction of avenging. keep up the good work

  35. Prema: Thank you and welcome to my blog...

  36. No one - not politicians, not religious heads (from any religion), should have so much power that they feel they can get away with anything. Especially hurting the vulnerable. A graphic and disturbing tale - very well written.


  37. The people who have power misuse it for their own good which is normally what happens. Thanks for appreciating the story.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

85 thoughts of a Fat girl when out for a run

It is not yet goodbye

My Experiments with Infertility